Dollar sign.

I fear that the young hip people of this age think that a victory of partying is to wake up ready to go.  A hangover isn't a sign of weakness, and a lack of one isn't a sign of strength.  As a matter of fact, a willingness to start drinking immediately after waking up following a good night of partying is either a sign of an alcohol problem or the sign of a teetotaler.  Ke$ha I'm talking about you.  You're either faking being a hard drinker or you need to go to rehab.  I'm just concerned for you.  Especially since you're in music videos with Dawson.

I'm stockpiling?

There is a mouse in the office.  I locked eyes with it last night and it turned around and fled.  I think he felt bad for me.  He was free to run away and I was wearing a headset with a 3ft cord.  I can't leave a tiny radius of my cube and this tiny vermin has free reign of the office.  At least until he gets killed, which will not be far in the future.  I guess it could be worse.  Sure, I'm making very little at a job that isn't very rewarding aside from my relatively meager paychecks.  And it seems that overtime is more or less mandatory so that I have little time to actively search for a better job, but at least there aren't other giant beings who are hell bent on destroying me.  Take that Mikey!  I'm on top of the food chain, and although I'm developing an ulcer to go with all of my anger and self esteem issues, I don't need to be constantly vigilant in case something steps on me, or tries to lure me with creamy delicious peanut butter into a device that will snap my neck

Wow, its been a long time and I'm the only one that knows.

Until the last 2 weeks I had been going to the gym about 4 times a week.  I had been noticing some positive outcomes from this lately too, so although I didn't love going, I was continuing to do so in the hopes that I would get in even better shape.  I decided last minute to participate in a charity 5K walk/run and after I discovered that 5K is about 3 miles.  I thought it was a distance I might be capable of running in spite of the fact that I have not run in several years.  The only cardio I do at the gym is the elliptical machine.  I thought that in preparation for this 5K I would run a couple miles on a treadmill at the gym to see what kind of time I would be looking at.  So I jumped on the treadmill and starting turning the speed up.  Nothing about the treadmill felt right to me.  The speed I had felt too slow too jog, but was too fast to walk.  If I was near the front of the machine I felt like I should use the handles, which was uncomfortable and weird for walking/jogging.  I had to go to the front in spite of my discomfort because of my terror of flying off the back of the treadmill.  Just when I was about to give up and go back to the elliptical machine where I belonged, a cute girl, who while likely out of my league or already spoken for, settled in at a treadmill 2 machines over from me.  I haven't flirted with a girl in years, and I wasn't good at it to begin with, but I thought maybe we would strike up a conversation.  I'm not certain what the most ludicrous part of this thought was:  the idea itself, or that someone would want to talk anyone that was having such a difficult  time on a machine that helps you walk in place.  After a brisk 1/4 mile, I realized that I wasn't making a positive impression on this woman and if I continued on this device I would either fly off of it or pop my shoulder out of its socket due to the death grip I had on the handles.  I got off the treadmill as quickly as I could and walked back to the weight area where a gentleman was screaming like he was climaxing every time he did a rep. After 2 sets of 10, I decided I'd heard enough, gathered up my things, and saw myself out of the gym.

so i like the group "junior senior". i decided to offer the one person whose name i know at my school of over 15,000 a ride back to her apartment. my stereo is usually loud and my iPod is always on shuffle. as soon as she got in the car, she started hearing some junior senior at full blast. as soon as she heard some of the lyrics she gave me a dirty look. i didn't want to change the song, because it was too late so after she heard some lyrics she gave me a bizarre look. she eventually asked "are you gay?". i gave this question no thought and instead of responding with "no i'm not, but would you have a problem with someone that is?" i answered "i'll show you gay!" and tried to kiss her. i think that might not have been the best decision.

oops

i know that no one else gives a shit about this, but i need to start doing this again so that i don't lose my mind. living with my parents is killing me from the inside. also the fact that i still don't know how to talk to women without looking like an asshole isn't great. it's all kind of a nightmare to be honest. i will be 29 at my next birthday and completely undesirable. i'm finally getting close to being a college graduate and none of that nonsense appeals to me at all. i'm a night person who is barely responsible for himself. i doubt i will ever be a "family man." i can't see a woman having unprotected sex with me, let alone me being ok with the slightest chance of reproduction. i guess that is where my lack of responsibility meets my desire to keep my seed off the earth.

blargh

i have always wanted to try stand-up comedy. the older i get, the more i want to try it and the less i think it will be anything less than horribly humiliating. however, my life is so pathetic that it can't not be funny to an audience. i've been funny to other people before i became uber pathetic, so i think i could be ok as a stand-up. hooray comedy!

howdy

i haven't posted anything in a while and i was upset by that. i was thinking today that if my romantic dry spell was a person, it would be able to walk and talk by now. it would also be working on toilet training by now. i think now i realize what it's like to be a parent. y'know before too long my dry spell will be driving itself to its first high school dance and having dry spells of its own. i'm so proud.