random thoughts

I dated this girl who didn't want to be judged by her appearance so naturally she thought it a good idea to get a boob job. I should have stopped dating her immediately because she was not very smart, but I think I may have been distracted by her rockin' new boobs. The moral of the story is that you should hang on to rockin' boobs as long as humanly possible. *The More You Know*

weird.

i have contact lenses, but they aren't the standard contact lenses. i have gas permeable lenses. these lenses are hard lenses that very few people have. the most recently that i have had a lens replaced was around halloween of 2003. i can't recall which lens was replaced then, but because that was the last lens i had replaced i know that my least old contact lens is less old than my godson who will be going into kindergarten in the fall. i would totally replace said lens if i could afford to see a magic eye doctor but i can't. achoo! god bless you.

i met modest mouse!

i didn't meet modest mouse. that was just a clever ruse to fool someone into reading. i know i didn't trick anyone because i am the only one to read this blog so far, which sadly is why i don't write more. i could probably use the outlet regardless of whether someone else is reading or not. after all, isn't that how fight club started? i mean seriously i'm not good looking enough to start beating up on myself. i couldn't get some weird looking goth girl that is married to tim burton to be into me. i'm a little bit off, but i'm not tom cruise or mel gibson crazy so its not like anyone is going to pay attention to me. i guess what i'm trying to say is that the fan in my room is not really effective.

lazy time

i'm gearing up for yet another school year. i should be definitely be done by now but this is the last year for reals. however after a wedding in my home town last weekend with high school friends, i realize i may never grow up to the the adult that they are. it seems rather soul crushing to be them. so maybe i will continue avoiding the real world. granted i don't enjoy a ton of life, but it seems to me that being like them might be worse than my life. i thoroughly enjoy the stupid things i do. plus i don't have to worry about babies. the greatest benefit of not having the sex is never having to worry about pregnancy. i guess if some chick said i got her pregnant i'd demand we go on maury to figure out who the father was. knowing i couldn't have knocked her up because i haven't made it with a lady in over 3 years i'd go on extra cocky like those d-bags that are always on. and when maury told me that i wasn't the father i'd start dancing like a fool. i love maury povich.

bored.

i've got so much free time i might as well spend at least some time writing on this thing. in between looking for a job and waiting for shool to start in january i've got tons of free time and lots of interesting things to say about it........man i've got lots of free time. i wear pajamas a lot of the time because i don't need to look like a real adult for most of the day. also i've got a pretty nice beard. my beard should probably be maintained, but i don't have to. also i should get a hair cut. these are all things that i would do if i were a real adult and not living with my parents. every year that i get older i think to myself "this is the year that you're going to grow up and act your age!" and then like two days later i get really intoxicated and talk about myself in the third person using a weird nickname. i don't know too many sane people who do that. rickey henderson doesn't count.
rickey henderson was an amazing baseball player. he made it into the hall of fame this year. he played for the oakland a's for many years. mc hammer was a ballboy for the oakland a's for years as a young boy.
mc hammer made one of the greatest "rap" songs ever, "u can't touch this." he also eventually went bankrupt.
i think that after reviewing what i've typed here you'll agree with me that glen beck, although a crazy person, is very entertaining to watch because he cries very often like a stupid girl.

sleep time should be my time.

dear axe body spray,
i think i get it. if i dress and act like a douche and wear your x-treme scents, i'll totally score with hot chicks all the time. i get it and it's totally awesome. i promise to buy all your fratastic odors asap if you do just one thing for me. STOP ADVERTISING AT NIGHT! you see, i sleep with the tv on and every night just before i fall asleep i hear that wonderful "double pits to chesty" commercial and am so infuriated that i am wide awake for like another 20 minutes....until it comes on again. so again, i'll buy all your garbage if you let me sleep in peace.
love,
dude

its time to drink somewhere.

i've decided i hate the saying "it's 5 o'clock somewhere!" that's a lame excuse to have a drink. also very inaccurate. i've never stopped myself from having a drink based on the time of day. location is a much more pertinent detail. i mean its almost impossible to decide you want to have a drink in the middle of the interstate without a liquor store in sight. i'd like to see it be 5 o'clock in your car then! or if you're in utah. thats the worst. utah is lame.